TICKNER'S WACA FIVE-FER: DAY FIVE

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Warne gets wicket 699 to regain the Ashes.

By Dave Tickner

1. One year and 96 days
That's how long England managed to hold on to the Ashes after fighting for over 16 years to get hold of them. You could say the result of this series has been on the cards since the moment Steve Harmison sent the first ball of the first Test into the hands of Andrew Flintoff at second slip. That's probably true but the absolute confirmation of the inevitable must be the comical nature of Geraint Jones' dismissal. More on him later.

2. Shane Warne
The perfect script for Warne, picking up the Ashes-clinching wicket to leave him needing just one at his beloved MCG to reach an almost unbelievable 700 Test wickets. Made the crucial breakthrough today, removing Flintoff just as the England captain was threatening to do something extraordinary, and got belated reward for his tireless effort on day four when he somehow ended up with only one wicket at a cost of 100.

3. Kevin Pietersen
Kept pretty quiet today, but never looked like getting out. The only criticism of his batting is his tendency to accept singles at the start of overs and play into opposition hands. Alright, it probably made no difference today, but he did it in the first innings as well, and the time will surely come when it will hurt England in a game when it could matter. With fielders scattered on a big outfield like the WACA, a player with Pietersen's rubber-wristed ability to get the ball into unusual places should enable him to locate the areas where twos are available, yet he always seems happy to knock the ball gently to a deep fielder and saunter a single.

4. Geraint Jones
When the relative merits of England's wicketkeepers are discussed, someone is legally obligated to mention Chris Read ducking Chris Cairns' slower ball and getting bowled as justification for continuing to overlook the world's best gloveman despite the fact that a) it happened back in 1999 when Read was 21 and unquestionably called up to the Test team years before he was ready, b) the same slower ball has removed some of the world's top batsmen and c) Read's batting has improved out of sight since then. Happily, anyone who continues to pursue this line of thought can now easily be shouted down. Whatever embarrassments Read may have suffered with the bat, not once has he tried to sweep and stayed slumped on one knee out of his ground while the opposition captain whips the bails off and runs him out. England coach Duncan Fletcher told us Jones was the man to take catches and score runs because he handles pressure better. I beg to differ, Dunc. Mentally, Jones has gone completely, and today's dismissal simply confirms it. After this Test (no runs, a missed stumping and an attempt at a catch that offered the first glimpse at his frazzled mind), surely Jones will never play for England again. Has any career suffered a more embarrassing denoument?

5. Preparation
Australia have spent 14 months preparing specifically and thoroughly for this series. England have spent 14 months swanning around in sponsored cars, collecting MBEs and writing self-congratulatory autobiographies. No surprises, then, for guessing which team has been on the ball for every ball of every session and which team has looked good in patches, but generally rather bewildered not to see Jason Gillespie and Simon Katich in the opposition ranks.